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Nursing home Netflix binge party.

I'm saving Game of Thrones, The Wire, The Sopranos, West World, Orange is the New Black, Stranger Things, Dare Devil, Punisher, Luke Cage, Black Mirror, etc for the nursing home.

I'll binge watch Better Call Saul after it ends because Breaking Bad is the GOAT.

So who's down for a TV binge party in 60 years?

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We need more love.

Smile and be kind to strangers. Be a positive force for to those around you. Before you go about your day everyday remind yourself you're creating a ripple effect into the world that's carrying your vibes way further than you think.

We can't directly change our laws but we can change our world. When enough tiny pieces of the whole change, the whole has changed. Spreading love needs to be the first call to duty in all of our lives.

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A question for every morning.

Ask yourself right now "How do I want to feel today? How do I want to make others feel?"

Wake up, set the intention to spread love, remind yourself to keep it up throughout the day. 

PS I'm not claiming I'm perfectly amazing to be around all day everyday. I've simply been awoken to how desperately we need more love and I'm trying to see you putting in the effort too. Indifference is easier, but look where that's getting us.

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Evidence

When you turn off the news, the evidence that people actually suck in day-to-day life is pretty thin.

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"Experiment" - Results of my first 3 day water fast.

I’ve completed my first 3 day water fast (plus a 1 day cellphone and internet fast) and I’m gonna share what I’ve learned and experienced:
-parts of myself presumed dead were resurrected. This took me on a spiritual journey. Makes sense some religions think it brings you closer to god
-I’ve never felt happier, more content, more peaceful, more focused, less lonely. Something biological was happening that put me into a euphoric state that so far remains (starting on the 2nd day of fast and even more so the 3rd, part of me wanted to keep going to see if these benefits could go deeper and deeper)
-hunger was not once an issue, at no point did eating feel dire or even necessary
-my short term memory was better
-meditation was easier to do for longer and my lung capacity was at least 1.5X bigger
-My mental energy was at new heights, my threshold for physical activity was low (duh)
-anxiety and negative voices in my head were completely muted and still are
-clarity, focus and certainty were heightened
-I don’t track my weight but I’ve definitely lost most of the fat gained on tour for a month and appear to have retained all my muscle
-my confidence is increased. I’ve gotten more in tune with myself than ever after spending much of the past year (and most of my life) feeling lost and i know there are things in life I’ve conquered that most others will never even attempt
-🙈I’ve never been so horny🙊
-sleeping was easy and always through the night without interruption
-judgements of myself and others decreased dramatically
-3 days for me was not long enough to break sugar addiction. I’ve read a fast of this length could reset your taste buds but not my experience this time
-I’ve intermittent fasted daily for almost 2 years (16-23 hours of fasting per 24) and worked my way up to the 3 days while taking in books, YouTube and podcasts on the subject FYI . I’m highly recommending you do this but probably not without plenty of preparation. Although it is safe enough to do without prep
-our food habits are advertising and addiction, not science. You don’t need 3 meals a day or a snack every 3 hours. Our bodies retain fat for the purpose of having energy when food is scarce for days, we were built for fasting. But we were also built to consume as much food as possible when it is available which is why we’re easy prey for the myths and addictive garbage the food industry has made omnipresent. What you think is hunger or “hangry” is addiction to processed foods
-I’ve heard about skin improvements from longer fasts but did not experience that. My skin was certainly no worse than normal but probably not better either. Maybe a little softer
-being on my third day of fasting and disconnecting from the internet made my world small - in the best way. The past was nonexistent, the future not a concern. No FOMO. Life was this space in my immediate vicinity and it was peaceful, it was enough
-I’ve read it’s the best anti-cancer, anti-aging tool humans have found. It definitely felt nothing less than completely healthy and refreshing
-This will definitely be a recurring thing for me, several of the people that inspired me do this do it once a month plus a 5-7 day fast once a year. I’m probably not going to get into longer fasts because that’s recommended to do under doctor supervision but 3 days a month I’d like to try. Probably will start fasting one full day each week as well as staying with my daily intermittent fast indefinitely

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If I've got any wisdom, it's this:

Grow the love inside yourself by fostering an attitude and self-talk that is forgiving, compassionate and kind. Grow that well of love so big that you can pour it into those around you and onto strangers in need of it

Follow your heart. Whether it's the chase of a lofty dream your heart desires or you simply want to find stability and ride out this short life close to your friends and family. Maybe some shade between. Wherever you fall on that spectrum, make sure your drive to be there is from inside and not to satisfy what you think others will accept or expect of you.

In the meantime, stop complaining. You're in the top 1% of easiest living beings on this planet. Chill out and have some fun along the way.

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"Experiment" - Eating more red meat.

Results of another life "experiment" (I'm not using the scientific method, just trying things and seeing how they feel):
For the past 6 months I went from eating meat 1 meal a day to 2-3 servings a week. I thought the difference was negligible, until I tried eating meat everyday again. . . here's what went down
-my energy slowly deteriorated over the months of reduced meat. I thought I was getting old and reduced the number of days per week I worked out because I was dead tired all the time. It was hard to see in the moment but now I see that energy struggle lead to compromised focus and mood. I was sick twice in that period and hadn't been sick since fall 2015.
-since reintroducing more meat (beef) my energy is back, I'm going harder than ever in the gym and recovering faster. I instantly feel younger. My skin is looking the best it's looked since this winter hit. My muscles feel like they're made of stone and my physique is tighter and bigger. I feel like a beast. 
-I'm eating cuts of beef baked or grilled with light seasoning. No sauce, no bread, no fried foods on the side. I eat a reasonable sized portion with a plate full of broccoli. It's just not the same health risks as including meat in a diet heavy in grains, sugar and dairy.
-You can definitely argue that my near-veganism would've gone better if I supplemented what I was missing from the correct foods through plant sources and supplements. But that's complicated, that's not what I'm looking for. I want to feel good with the least amount of effort and I take zero supplements other than fish oil (because I won't touch seafood).
-I don't like the environmental impact of eating meat, which is why I tried slowing down. But the way I feel now, I hope to eat more and higher quality meat in the future when I can focus more financial resources that way. 
-There's just no way I'm going to be convinced that our bodies aren't meant to eat meat. The effects I described above, the bodily stimulation of the look, smell and taste of meat that is so innately satisfying and the satiation of having it in your stomach.

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Fake Positivity

A good friend told me last night that he always thought my positivity was a bullshit cover up for my anger and cynicism but, as of the last couple months, he now believes me. haha this is the honest feedback you get when you put yourself on blast. And he's pretty right. I told myself and everyone around me that I was going to be peaceful, grateful and generous while I learned to make it real.

Fake it 'til you make it.

There is no bad positivity, even fake positivity improves yourself and the world around you. Put that smile on this week no matter how you feel inside and it'll lead you towards the light.

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Better at seeing beauty.

For the past two weeks I’ve been abstaining from and avoiding all pornographic, hyper-sexualized, and photoshopped photos and videos of women. Despite the increased internet presence you’ve been seeing from me these days, I’m always practicing being more satisfied and engaged with my immediate reality. Lately I’m finding success in removing all forms of addiction, which we turn to to avoid reality. I wouldn’t call this lady content an addiction for me seeing as I quit cold turkey with zero slip ups or temptation but it took quitting to see the effect even low doses has had on me.

 

Cultural ideals of good looks were never important to me for myself or my partners. It was a vibe thing. After nearly a decade of exclusive relationships (that ended over two years ago now), I wanted to try something different. I wanted to date women “hotter” than I’d ever been with. At the time I became single again I achieved an increase in fitness (semi-accidentally I might add- I’ve worked out 6 days a week and adjusted my diet for 12 years, I was going to get good at it eventually. learning to breathe deep was actually the tipping point). I started giving half of a shit about getting hair cuts and dressing semi-respectably for the first time, and genuinely dove deep into self-discovery that increased my confidence. I’ve been seen with higher value the last year and a half. 

 

Here’s what I’ve learned about “hot” through the above experiences. First of all, "hot” is more of a life choice than anything. There are absolutely those among us that are effortlessly closer to our cultural idea of hot than others. I’m not denying that. But that woman on the TV and internet in a lot of cases probably isn’t that aggressively exciting in her natural form. She’s just invested resources in being really good at makeup and hair or having professionals do that work. She keeps a strict diet and exercise routine, spends a lot of money on clothes and makes sure to only be shown in photo and video in her best lighting and angles. Not to mention computer enhancement. That look is obtainable to a huge portion of women, much larger than we acknowledge. If you want to put that work in everyday, then do it and rock it. If you don’t, then do a more natural look and rock it. For guys, being hot is about an attitude that says you have strength, wisdom and humor to offer while not looking like a 6 year old that dressed himself (I messed all that up but the humor portion for a long time). The bar is much lower for men. Yes, there are naturally stunning men and those that put in a lot of work to look great like women, but women naturally assess a man’s value more deeply. 

 

This may actually be no news at all to you ladies, but us guys don’t know this stuff until we’ve spent enough time around enough “hot” women. This is where it connects back to the beginning about abstaining from and avoiding all pornographic, hyper-sexualized, and photoshopped photos and videos of women. I was surely on the lower end of the spectrum of men consuming this content and just two weeks being away from it has been astonishing. I see so much beauty in “regular” women. I’m much more open to women not my “type” and I'm much more attuned to vibes again. Engaging with femininity is a basic human need for men and seeing sexual images of women tricks our brains into either thinking it is getting some form of that femininity or makes real women seem less appealing. Or both. And they both lead to dissatisfaction. 

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A Prediction

Prediction: I believe that in my lifetime we will see the economy shift from people willing to trade their time to do a task for money to the majority of people doing what they love. Everyone will be an artist. There will still be janitors, McDonald’s employees, etc. everyone won’t be an “artist” in the common sense of the word. But people in those types of positions will be people that love serving others and take pride in being the best at what they do, not begrudgingly doing it to survive. That’s art to me. It won’t be radically different, we’ll just as a society promote and support people finding positions that are fulfilling for them instead of pushing them to be cogs in the machine.

I’m betting everything on that world becoming a reality.

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If you struggle with depression please let me share with you an update on my story:

I haven’t been depressed or anxious in two full months. I was on the verge of a nervous freak out yesterday before doing my taxes, but I recovered quickly. That’s what made me want to talk about it - if I can walk away cheerful from tax day, I’m truly onto something. That and I’ve been noticing the past few weeks how sharp my brain is!

I didn’t know what it was at first but I’ve decided that it must be brainpower that I’ve gained back from not wasting energy on worry and paranoia. I’ve never been more sharp, focused, observant, creative. I’ve never been less addicted and compulsive and I’m dropping several bad habits at once with ease.

I’m smart! I got good grades in school and people have told me I’m smart before, but knowing all the distraction inside my head kept me from ever feeling that way. A head full of blockage. Now I’m not some Elon Musk type over here, but lately I recognize intelligent thought in my brain that’s got room to thrive. I’m excited to see where how it grows as I continue this streak.

Depression is poison to your brain, life and the world around you. If you deal with this, please seek help. We need the ideas in your mind to flourish and be shared. We need you spreading positive energy. I’m not an expert or a professional but feel free to message me if you want suggestions on what’s working for me. I’ve been actively waging the war to reclaim my mind for 12 years and I’m finally winning a majority of the battles. I forced myself to learn from scratch instead of using resources that are out there. You could get ahead of this much faster! If you’re in an especially dark place please communicate with your family and get professional help. Let’s all beat this together!

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Peace in Discomfort

I’m feeling pretty great about life these days. Not for the stereotypical reasons our culture tells us we should be happy. I’m not currently what society would call living a “stable” or “successful” life. I’ve actually been much more those things in the past with lower results in happiness.

Why do I feel so good? I was thinking about it today. I decided it’s a balance of two ingredients: peace and discomfort. They seem mutually exclusive but in what I’m experiencing, they feed each other. I’ve spent a lot of the past too far in either direction. Too much discomfort, is a life of pain. Too much peace is also dangerous as it creates a (temporary) contentment that has made me lazy before. 

The balance comes from learning that discomfort is the spark of growth. Growing brings me peace, even if the catalyst of that growth is painful. I also have daily practices in place (see this previous post) that keep me peaceful and stress-free despite spending plenty of time outside of my comfort zone. I’m working to spend more time uncomfortable. That’s where the growth is. Therefore, that’s where the peace is. Peace in doing a good job, peace in progress. Peace in process (see my post "Love The Process" ). 

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I Recoiled.

I call it "The Recoil." It's a form of self-doubt. Instead of the crippling doubt that keeps you from starting, it's the doubt that shows up to mess with you when you've been doing the thing. You've been putting in the work, pushing through fear and discomfort, staying consistent and believing in the mission for weeks without incident.

But one day you question yourself. Sometimes so severely that it threatens to halt everything you've been working towards. You want to quit. Last week I recoiled over my social media presence. In a commitment to put myself out there I've been ramping up my amount of daily social content. It's been going well. But last week the doubt hit me hard. I scaled back to bare minimum content. Last Tuesday's blog post was short, I didn't want to do it. My new vlog series which started out at an every other day frequency came to an almost complete halt last week. I haven't committed to a release schedule yet for my vlogs like I have for this blog, so I copped out since I haven't obligated myself. 

It's a new week and I'm back. I let doubt get the best of me,  BUT I did one thing that was the saving grace during this slip up - I didn't stop creating the content. I did slow my role on releasing it, but I still shot vlog footage. I still wrote songs daily. Now that I've recovered from vulnerability overload, I've got the content ready to resume at full tilt. This is my suggestion to you when you experience The Recoil (which I think we all will when putting ourselves out there) - keep doing the work. Give yourself a few days to recover from the wear and tear of building an audience but keep the work coming.  

May your next recoil be brief!

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Be a beginner.

As we grow in experience and skill, being a novice becomes a distant memory. We've been doing what we do so long we don't even remember what life was like before. 

Recent experience suggests - relearn what it is to be a beginner. Try new things, gain new experiences from the perspective of the struggling learner. Even more importantly, reinvent your core strengths by adding new dimensions to them. It all starts with the uncomfortable. 

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Lifestyle Design

I've already had and lost everything I'd ever wanted (I had small aspirations). When I faced the empty space that was my life, for once I saw the potential. The emptiness was limitless but that meant there was limitless room to occupy it with whatever I liked. I began to see my life up to that point had been assembled through happenstance, not design.

Tim Ferriss coined the term "lifestyle design" in his best-selling book "The 4-Hour Workweek." Such a simple idea, yet a life-changing concept. We live in such freedom and abundance that it's a shame many of us don't use it to design our own lives. Yes we may get the job, house, spouse of our dreams but how many of us are spending the majority of our time exactly how we'd like? We should decide how we want to spend our days and build a life around that. How many of us get a job that wasn't even our first choice then build our life around that?

For the past year I've been discovering my design for the perfect day. In 2017, I'm restructuring my life around that. I've got nothing to lose. I understand if the stakes are dug in deeper in your life. Whoever you are and what your situation is, I hope you'll take some time to at least fantasize about how you would design your life if you could do whatever you wanted with it. You may find some of your ideas are more achievable than you'd expect.

Design your life! I'll keep you updated on how my design is playing out.  

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The Shortcut to Originality (Forgetting the pursuit of originality.)

I've always been obsessed with being an original. That obsession often leaves one too far on the fringes. We can only deviate from the norm so far before we're out of touch. Originality is great. Originality is rewarded. What I've found in my pursuit of it is that, like many things, the more you chase it the further from it you tend to get. I've come to find the most direct path towards originality is to take another path altogether. 

Authenticity. Forget the pursuit of originality altogether and embrace what's true to yourself. This may be the ultimate shortcut to originality. Even the world's biggest conformist is a one-off. None of us are the same, even those of us that try to hide their uniqueness in exchange for a warm spot around the campfire in society's comfort zone. If you explore what is authentic to you and express it vulnerably, you automatically set yourself apart and do so naturally. 

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The Fourth Day: Getting back on the wagon.

The sequel to my previous post The Third Day

In the past couple weeks I've messed up with my productivity level and my diet. I've still accomplished a lot but not to my typical level and not on par with the size of my goals. I've still worked out everyday but my diet has been a shit show. 

I fell off.

We all do sometimes. And it's time for me to get back on.

Maybe there are some super humans and robots out there, but I think most of us slip up. On our diets, our work, our addictions. . . How do we get back with the program? I've fallen off the wagon plenty of times, but I never make a life out of it, I always come back. Here are some ideas on getting back on when you've messed up your goals.

-Don't mess up more than 2 days in a row. Day One is mistake, Day Two is a problem, Day Three is a lifestyle.

-Don't beat yourself up. You don't want to be so soft on yourself that you have no self discipline, but you also don't want to be so hard on yourself that you're mentally tortured. Be tough on yourself but acknowledge that you're human and have compassion for inevitable mistakes.

-Have a buddy that can encourage you to do better. Possibly also someone that can administer a healthy level of tough love.

-Remember why you started pursuing your goal in the first place. Visualize what got you started and visualize what it will be like to achieve your goal.

-Recognize the cravings that try to pull you further and further from your goal. They get intensified when you slip up, remind yourself of that and prepare to face their heightened levels. 

-If you're trying to stop a bad habit, replace it with a better one. You can redirect that habit into something more aligned with your goals. 

Don't let weeks, months or years pass not going for the goal because you've made a mistake. Hopefully you've found something here that will help you get back up faster next time you fall.

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